


every fire i’ve ignited faded to grey

by wonhaosalts



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Hybrid! AU, M/M, is this slight angst ??? idek, minghao is a rly shy cat boy, seungcheol jeonghan & soonyoung have cameos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 10:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7263835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhaosalts/pseuds/wonhaosalts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>minghao, an insecure cat hybrid, has shunned away from the idea of attachment all his life. however, junhui may be the one to challenge minghao’s beliefs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	every fire i’ve ignited faded to grey

**Author's Note:**

> i just really love the concept of hybrid aus and honestly minghao is a literal kitten, so i thought: why not?
> 
> also inspired by this pic: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/36/5c/58/365c58701a2de1b1f89b9b8172254597.jpg

_I._

since he was young, minghao was never one to show his hybrid traits to others easily. he wasn't ashamed of being part of an uncommon group of humans, but he always treated the hybrid side of his body with an estranged sense of privacy, only daring to reveal his true appearance in front of his family. 

minghao didn't hate being a cat hybrid at all; in fact, he did quite like the pair of fluffy ginger ears that peeked out of his bangs whenever he was feeling curious or playful, and his sleek tail gave him the extra balance he needed whenever he break danced. however, for an insecure cat like minghao, being a hybrid did come with more setbacks than perks. 

it was most probably caused by a traumatic incident when he was much younger, when he had unintentionally revealed his hybrid traits to his friends in school. while most of them were receptive of his uniqueness and enjoyed patting his fluffy head and tail, there were bullies who decided to make use of his differences and exact their cruel plans upon him. 

as if just calling names wasn't enough, they went one step further and dunked him in the toilet, knowing that minghao was especially afraid of water and the possibility of drowning. jeering at him as they retreated, the poor Chinese boy was left alone in the washroom, shivering and huddling in a corner of the room, his soggy tail curled up around him. 

minghao never got over that incident easily, the same palpitations of his heart, the familiar sinking feeling in his stomach and the ringing in his ears as he was tormented for being born a hybrid replaying over and over in his head like a bad movie that was his childhood. 

because of that, minghao vowed never to show his true self to anyone except his family, fearing the arise of tormenting comments. however, being a cat hybrid, that was not an easy task. they tended to show their hybrid traits, even if unintentional, when they were especially comfortable and let their guard down. 

for nineteen years now, that had been a task that minghao managed to accomplish every single day. even after joining an idol group, minghao made sure that he stayed just a little more distant from the other members; a little more quiet than the rest, and his language barrier did help with maintaining the gap. 

however, minghao knew that it would be impossible to live his entire life without becoming attached to someone. he just chose to pray and continuously hope that there would be no such interference in his plans to stay distanced from the crowd. 

but said interference was here in the form of twenty year old wen junhui, who was currently lying on top of minghao's lap like he was the cat in this situation, grinning softly up at him as he fiddled with minghao's soft brown bangs. 

minghao wasn't sure what it was about junhui; whether it was the fact that he was from China, the closest thing to home that minghao had while he was in seoul, or whether his personality tended to draw people towards him like moths towards a flame, but minghao felt like out of the hundreds of people he'd met in his entire life, junhui was the one he could be with without hesitating about whether he was different. 

junhui seemed to accept him for who he was no matter what he did, and minghao had a feeling - though slight - that junhui, too, would accept his true hybrid nature. but even that tiny feeling couldn't overwhelm the insecurity that minghao had embodied his entire life. 

but with junhui, he could just temporarily ignore his worries of being ostracised from everybody else like his younger days. maybe junhui was the answer to all his problems. 

"your hair is really soft," said junhui, still smiling widely up at him. 

minghao simply hummed in response. cat hybrids usually had softer hair than normal humans, and minghao liked to keep his own hair fluffy so that it was easier to hide his ears.

"how is it so soft even after you've dyed it a million times?" junhui asked again. minghao let out a quiet giggle at his curiosity. 

"i don't know," he lied. "it may be in my genes, i guess. 

junhui continued to fiddle with his bangs, and the sight of him doing so stirred an unfamiliar feeling in minghao's stomach. was it dependency? or was it just because he was showing so much skin ship? either way, he allowed junhui to continue running his slender fingers through his hair. 

minghao shut his eyes and enjoyed the sensation, allowing himself to relax for once. junhui's fingers brushed against a spot behind where his ears were retracted, and minghao, having let his guard down, let out a loud purr in contentment.

he jumped back in shock when he'd realised that he had just let out what sounded like a deep growl, and junhui was now staring at him curiously. minghao knew that he had to come up with a convincing lie, or junhui would never stop questioning him.

"uh... my stomach..." said minghao meekly. "i don't think i had much for dinner."

upon hearing that, junhui got up immediately, and reached a hand out to minghao, who grabbed it hesitantly, and pulled him up. 

"you never eat enough," said junhui, sounding concerned. "come on, i'll get mingyu to make you something."

not letting go of the cat boy's hand, junhui led him out to the kitchen, and minghao quietly trailed behind, wanting to kill himself for getting comfortable around junhui and purring like he _wanted_ to reveal his true hybrid self. 

after ensuring that junhui was engrossed in dragging him to the kitchen, minghao cautiously reached up to pat his hair with his other hand. true enough, and to his absolute horror, he felt his fluffy ears atop his head, which had popped out unintentionally from getting too comfortable around his hyung. 

minghao quickly willed them to retract, and they disappeared once again. he bit his lip, realising that it wasn't safe to be around junhui anymore. 

he was precisely afraid of being stuck in this situation, where he was forced to distance himself from the one whom he was most comfortable with in order to keep his true self a secret. _maybe junhui will accept me, unlike the other boys when i was younger,_ minghao thought to himself, trying to maintain his positivity. 

his optimism was quickly overruled by an image of junhui sneering at him, calling him weird and nothing more than a feral, and minghao decided that he had no choice but to avoid junhui at all costs, trying to block out all the dark thoughts that were forming in his mind. 

 

_II._

minghao realised junhui was staring when he'd finally turned away from mingyu long enough to catch a glimpse of the older boy. he caught his eye, and minghao simply smiled at the other Chinese member before turning back to mingyu, not knowing what else to do. 

it had been exactly a week since minghao had decided to distance himself from junhui in order to hide his real identity, and he tried not to feel jealous whenever junhui got particularly close with another member. _you chose to avoid him so that he won't finds out that you're a hybrid, and call you a disgusting creature;_ minghao reminds himself so often that it almost becomes an unhealthy mantra. 

"haohao," mingyu called out again teasingly. "try on this headband." 

minghao sighed at the nickname, but obliged, allowing mingyu to slip a glittery black headband with a ridiculously oversized bow on his head. loud squeals could be heard throughout the fan signing venue, and the familiar clicking of camera shutters went off. minghao smiled over at a few cameras, then gave mingyu a dirty look as the taller boy still sat there, grinning at his creation widely. 

the sight of mingyu grinning at him, his sharp canine teeth revealed, reminded him of a giant puppy, and minghao couldn’t help but wonder if mingyu was, by any chance, a hybrid too. he would never ever muster up the courage to ask mingyu that question, but minghao wished that he had someone like him to talk to about his situation. it was hard being the only hybrid in a largely unfamiliar country, miles away from his family back in Liaoning.

minghao did realise, though, that by distancing himself away from junhui, he was getting closer to other members instead, like a huge tumble of a butterfly effect. he suddenly felt a wave of sadness, thinking about how in the near future, mingyu too may be a target of avoidance. 

his sad thoughts were soon washed away by mingyu managing to cheer him up again with yet another silly headband, and minghao simply decided to treasure the time he would spend with this puppy-like member before the same problem with junhui happened again. 

when the fan signing was over, the thirteen members had to split up into three separate cars in order to get back to their dorm. minghao’s heart almost stopped when seungcheol suggested units, and minghao knew that junhui would try to get close to him in the car again while soonyoung and chan weren’t looking, and instead jam loudly to music.

“that’s no fun,” jeonghan spoke up, and minghao knew that his hyung was a literal _angel_ at that point. “we always go in units. let’s just split up and sit with whoever we want for a change.”

the rest of the members agreed easily, and seungcheol had no choice but to give in as well. minghao could vaguely hear junhui calling for him, but pretended not to hear the other boy and instead allowed soonyoung to steer him into a black SUV where he, mingyu, seokmin and said performance leader noisily sung to girl group songs all the way back to the dorm. 

minghao trailed behind seokmin when they stepped into their living quarters, thinking he was safe when he felt a tap on his shoulder. minghao’s smile faded, and he knew even without turning around that it was junhui. 

he turned around anyway, and faked a smile. “hi, junnie-hyung,” he greeted. 

“minghao, i need to talk to you for a second,” said junhui calmly, but minghao could see the tension in his eyes.

not good. he needed to get away before he got caught. 

mingyu poked his head out of the kitchen at that moment, and minghao thought of coining a new nickname for him: second angel.

“hao, wanna help with dinner?” asked mingyu, still beaming. then he caught sight of junhui, and let out a soft ‘ _oh_ ’. “oops, sorry, jun-hyung! are you busy with him?”

“nope!” minghao cut in, his voice slightly too loud for the seemingly casual conversation that was taking place. “i’ll help you, mingyu.” 

 “wait, minghao—” he heard junhui protest, but dashed away into the kitchen anyway. 

while chopping up the onions under mingyu’s supervision, minghao affirmed that his plan was working. all he needed was for the entire seventeen to turn into angels who would save him from every awkward moment when he was alone with junhui, and he could successfully distance himself from the other Chinese member.

_yup,_ minghao thought to himself. _this plan is definitely working well._

 

_III._  

his plan was not working well at all.

after a few days from the last anxiety attack that was junhui approaching him while they were alone, seungcheol decided to take everybody but the Chinese members out for a sudden grocery trip.

“it’s an emergency,” he insisted, voice somehow louder than protests of the rest of the members, who wanted to practice their choreography and think of lyrics for more songs. “i don’t know how, but our food has been disappearing, and we’re all going to starve if we don’t go out and get more.”

he looked pointedly at the china line. “i have faith that both of you won’t destroy the house while we’re gone.”

minghao panicked. “i’m sure junnie-hyung can manage on his own. i think you may need my help, too.”

he felt a hand on his shoulder, and an icy chill shot through his body. “it’s fine, coups-hyung,” came junhui’s soothing voice. “minghao and i will take care of the house. just focus on getting the groceries.”

the echo of the front door shutting was like a chime signalling minghao’s execution. quickly excusing himself, minghao rushed back to his room and shut the door, burrowing under his blankets in a futile attempt to calm his nerves. 

_i really am like a cat,_ he thought bitterly. 

just a few seconds after he thought he was fine, a knock at his door brought his misery back. 

_shit,_ he thought, tunnelling further under his covers.

“minghao, i’m coming in,” came junhui’s muffled voice from outside.

“don’t,” minghao warned.

the door creaked, and junhui walked in anyway, his footsteps against the wooden flooring like the slow ticking of a clock that was counting down to minghao’s doom. the bed dipped as junhui sat down on it, and minghao held his breath.

“minghao, why are you avoiding me?” junhui asked simply.

“i’m not,” minghao lied. 

“you are,” said junhui. minghao wished that instead of being a useless hybrid, he could teleport far away from junhui. this time, no angel granted his wish. 

“no,” minghao replied. 

“it was obvious,” said junhui. “i’ve never seen you try to run away from me so much, from our trainee days till now. did i do something wrong? i’m sorry.”

_no,_ minghao thought. _it’s my fault for not wanting to face reality and just accept that i’m an unwanted hybrid._

“i don’t know what i did, but i’m really sorry,” junhui repeated, sounding genuinely upset. “please tell me what i did, and we can go back to our usual relationship?”

minghao finally realised that he couldn’t run away from junhui anymore. the more he avoided him, the more junhui would question. he just had to tell him now, that he can’t be friends with junhui anymore, not even stand near him. if he did, every tiny action of junhui’s would make him close to the older boy again, only to get hurt in the end when he revealed his true nature.

“we can’t,” minghao said, voice trembling as he spoke. he pulled his blankets aside and stood up, making eye contact with junhui to show how serious he was. his fists were shaking, but minghao was too concentrated to notice.

“why? what did i do?” junhui asked, and minghao looked away, unable to stand the hurt and confused look in his eyes. “i’m sorry.”

“nothing. you did nothing wrong,” minghao replied firmly, still refusing to look at junhui.

“then why are you avoiding me?” junhui stood up too, advancing towards minghao slowly. his volume increased slowly, getting louder and sounding more panicked by the minute. “why can’t we still be friends?”

minghao had had enough. “it’s not you,” he yelled, hating that he was forced to do this to junhui. “it’s _me,_ alright?” 

“i must have done something wrong to make you hate me like this, so just tell me,” said junhui, and he was so close that minghao could see that his bottom lip was trembling too.

“you didn’t do anything!” minghao yelled again, frustratedly running a hand through his hair. “i _told_ you, it’s all my fault for being born like this.” 

“what?” junhui frowned in confusion, and continued taking slow steps forward. “what are you talking about?”

“just go away, _please_!” minghao continued to shout, hot tears now streaming down his face uncontrollably. _“_ let’s just stop talking, okay? i really, _really_ can’t handle being around you.”

“why?” jun was yelling as loud as minghao was now, tears flowing fast as well. “minghao, please—” 

all of the hybrid boy’s emotions that had built up over the past years threatened to spill out. “ _why do you care so much about whether i avoid you or not?_ ” minghao screamed, vision now blurry due to the tears that just wouldn’t stop. “just go, i can’t stand being around you anymore. please, go away. there’s no reason for you to care. 

he buried his face in his hands, sobbing loudly, his mind on the fact that he had screwed up, and it was supposed to be a calm talk, but now he had ruined everything by just blatantly yelling out his true thoughts. this was supposed to prevent his real hybrid self from being discovered so that he wouldn’t get hurt again like last time, but somehow fighting with junhui felt worse than anything.

“there is.” junhui’s voice was low, and shaky.

“what?” minghao sniffed and wiped at his eyes, and stared at his hyung silently. there was nothing to lose now, since he was already going to lose the one person he felt at home with.

“it’s because i’m in love with you.”

_what._

minghao opened his mouth to shout back a reply, that it was not the time to joke, and he was really going to avoid junhui forever, but instead of hearing his own voice come out, he felt junhui’s lips on his.

_WHAT._

minghao wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t that. he wanted to shove junhui off and tell him to stop playing games, but he felt himself melting into the kiss, temporarily forgetting what had just happened and simply taking in the pleasure of it all. he let out a soft purr from the sensation, then quickly pulled away from junhui and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, realising that he had just made a hybrid noise.

he felt his cheeks heat up, and looked up at junhui only to find him staring at the top of his head like he had just seen a ghost, dumbfounded. 

_shit._

instinctively, minghao reached for his head, and felt two small furry ears.

_no. this couldn’t be happening._

“what,” said junhui, not letting his eyes trail away from minghao’s ginger ears.

“it’s not—” minghao spluttered, backing away from his hyung and hitting the nightstand. he felt his ears shoot up at the impact. “it’s not what you think it is.”

“ears?” junhui asked simply, still looking confused.

“i…i,” minghao stammered, feeling his vision instantly blur up due to the wave of tears, threatening to crash down onto his cheeks once more. “i’m a cat hybrid,” he confessed, trying to wipe away his tears to no avail.

_it was no use,_ minghao thought. he might as well tell junhui now, while both of them were fighting, and get his fears over and done with. there was no point hiding his true nature. junhui would just find out anyway; it just depended on when. and minghao decided that it would be today.

“when i was young, i was discriminated and bullied for being a hybrid, and it struck a fear deep in me to never tell anyone that i was a hybrid, ever, in case they reacted the exact same way.” minghao paused to sniffle, and pawed at his eyes again.

“i’ve hated getting attached to anyone ever since, and when i realised that i was getting close with you and beginning to reveal my true nature, i just couldn’t handle the thought of you hating me once you found out i was a hybrid. so, i decided to distance myself from you, though that went horribly,” minghao muttered bitterly, watching as his tears hit the flooring drop by drop.

he heard junhui’s footsteps approach, and suddenly he was engulfed in his warmth, tightly embraced in his arms. the way junhui held him felt like he was handling china, delicate and fragile. minghao sunk deeper into his embrace, naturally snuggling up into his chest as he continued to let his floodgates open. 

“minghao,” came junhui’s voice, after what felt like they had stood there for an hour. it sounded deep and raw, as he had been crying too. “i could never hate you.”

minghao pulled back slightly, searching junhui’s brown orbs for any lies. “even though i’m a disgusting feral?”

junhui sighed painfully, then reached up to stroke his head gently. “no, and you’re not disgusting, or a feral.”

“but—"

“listen to me, hao. you may have had scarring memories when you were younger, but i swear with my life that i would never think of you that way. minghao, _i love you_ ,” junhui said, and minghao could feel his sincerity and passion through those three simple words.

“but why? and when did you even—” minghao began.

junhui shrugged, still staring at him endearingly like he was the universe. “doesn’t matter when, does it? when i’m with the other members, they feel like a huge family. but when i’m with you, you make me feel differently, like i truly am safe and belong with you. you’re like home to me.”

minghao’s cheeks warmed instantly, smiling at the thought of him being junhui’s home, just like how junhui was the same to him during instances like these.

junhui took his silence as consent, and continued. “i just realised my feelings a few days ago, when i’d realised that i can’t live without you by my side.” he paused and scratched his head, looking cutely embarrassed. “it may be a little too early to properly sort all my feelings out, but i’m confident that it’s love.”

“but, you won’t dislike me even though i’m different?” minghao asked hesitantly, ears flat against his head.

“i’ve always thought hybrids were adorable,” junhui confessed. “and you just happen to be my favourite.”

minghao beamed, his ears pricked up happily. maybe, just this once, it was okay to be attached to someone. maybe it was okay if he was in love with junhui, too.

minghao purred as junhui rubbed his cheek with his thumb slowly, allowing himself to fully sink into junhui’s touch. _just maybe,_ he thought, that junhui was the only one who ever needed to know about his hybrid self, anyway, since he truly loves him for who he was.

 

_IV._

“junnie-hyung?”

minghao looked up at junhui, shifting in his lap so that he could see him more comfortably. junhui momentarily stopped playing with his hair and cat ears, and hummed in reply. they were alone in the dorm again, and minghao had allowed his hybrid form to take over for a while, just until the rest returned.

the cat hybrid snuggled back against his chest, turning his attention back to the television. junhui resumed styling the younger boy’s hair, and fluffing his ears endearingly.

“do you think i should tell the rest that i’m a hybrid?” 

junhui blinked, not expecting that question at all. minghao shifted again to look at him, this time making full eye contact. 

“should i?” the fluffy haired boy asked again. 

junhui gazed at him fondly, admiring his wide brown eyes which were on him, though shyly, and his soft lips that junhui loved claiming with his own. he thought of all the hardships both of them had gone through just to admit their feelings for one another. now that he had minghao in his grasp, he wasn’t intending to ever let the adorable, insecure boy go.

“… no.”

“why not?!” minghao protested, pouting. “i thought you’d support my decision. it took me a long time to muster the courage, you know.” 

junhui chuckled at how cute minghao was, reminding him of a depressed kitten, ears flat against his head and tail tucked between his legs. he leaned forward and kissed him, receiving a soft, yet surprised yelp before a content purr. 

junhui pulled away, resisting the urge to smirk at minghao’s dazed expression. he had been getting bolder with his skin ship ever since they’d started dating.

“because, who knows what crazy things the rest will do when they find out that you’re a cat hybrid.”

minghao looked confused as ever, and junhui simply gave him another kiss.  

“you only need me to fawn over you.” junhui bumped his forehead against minghao’s gently, giving him an eskimo kiss. “you’re my little cat, after all.”

 

_FIN._

**Author's Note:**

> can i just say that all of seventeen are potential hybrids?? they all look like puppies and kittens and bunnies to me i can't even; and the animal ear headbands they wear at fansigns hurt my heart a lot
> 
> my mind is warped but i hope u enjoyed this hybrid fic !!


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